One of the greatest findings in the past years of human psychology is the realization that many of our mental processes are incredibly subconscious.
We think we know why we react the way we do in social situations, and why we like certain people.
But we’re not always correct because the conscious brain only sees a few pieces of the overall puzzle. When we see circumstances in our lives, we try to rationalize it, make excuses for it, and otherwise twist our sense of logic to fit what we see… often inaccurately.
This is occasionally a frightening thought, but most of the time we can and should be able to take advantage of it.
It means that you have subconscious triggers to put you into your most social moods… it just requires a bit of self-analysis and introspection to find them.
We all have friends and circumstances where we feel like we’re the kings and queens of the moment. Maybe you’ve got that one friend who brings out your charming and hilarious side, or maybe you’re the main entertainer at any family function.
What is it about those interactions that subconsciously launches us into our best behaviors and habits? What social and emotional triggers get us in the zone of social fluency?
As long as you are aware of the triggers that push you to respond to certain situations in a certain way, you can manipulate these triggers to work for your benefit.
This is doubly true with social situations-certain types of people, moods, locations, and even weather can bring out the awkward and socially inept in us, or the charming and magnetic.
So what triggers bring out the best, the worst, and the funny side to you? Find the triggers that produce positive responses and moods, and you can summon them at any time without having to be in the presence of that trigger.
People are strong triggers
There are certain friends who interact with you in such a way that your funny and magnetic sides come out. In fact, you can be the most charming person in the room when you surround yourself with these people.
Study how these friends bring out your best side. Identify their manner of interaction with you, and how you play off of them. Was it a word? Was it a look? Was it some form of mannerism? Was it how they react to you? Is it how they egg you on?
When you can understand and isolate these external triggers, you become your best self in any situation by extreme visualization techniques.
Say you have a friend named Rudy that you are just hilarious around. You’ve isolated that it’s because he has a dry, sarcastic sense of humor that you play well off of, and can always add to.
Obviously, you can’t have Rudy around you at all times to help you in social situations. But you now know that you do very well with sarcasm – sarcasm is one of your social triggers. So when you are in social situations, visualize Rudy’s sarcasm contributing to the conversation in the background, and it will summon your inner Chris Rock.
That’s how you can turn on your social side at will, by simply identifying your triggers. Just like with most things in your personal emotional life, awareness is half the battle. You’ll find that anything can be a trigger for you, not just people. It’s a powerful awareness that eliminates all excuses you have about your social reservations.
When you are fully aware of how certain mental pictures trigger certain emotional reactions, you can then make substitutions for these visualizations, based on your own decisions, based on your own choosing.
That’s how you take full control and full ownership of how you perform in a wide range of social settings. Truly social people know how this works. This is why they can always be at their best regardless of external circumstances.
Zero in on certain visualizations to trigger a social state, and seize control of your best self.
