People are inherently self-absorbed.
I don’t mean this in a negative sense. People just prioritize themselves and get caught in the busyness of their own lives. This makes it hard to find people who can help you improve your social skills.
Or does it?
Luckily, there is one segment of society that is especially suited to help you practice your social skills. In fact, they don’t really have much of a choice. I’m referring to service people.
Why are they so suited to practicing social skills with?
First of all, they are quite literally paid to be nice to you.
Their job performance depends on their customer service skills, and if they want to keep their jobs, they have to be courteous to you.
This alone should eliminate the fear you have of crashing and burning in any social interaction, because it’s their job to prevent that and probably laugh at your jokes. You’ll see that crashing and burning is never really that bad, and people move on quickly.
Second of all, they don’t have any choice!
They’re a captive audience behind the counter or cash register. They are usually stuck being stationary in a position for long periods of time, and for those who have held the above jobs… you know that it’s not the most thrilling life. Most of the time, they are bored out of their minds, so having someone engage them will be a positive experience for them. You will make their day pass faster and just give them something to do.
You might be the only one to treat them with respect and show actual interest in them as a person, which would undoubtedly make you the highlight of their day. In other words, they’ll be glad to talk to you.
So now that we know WHY service people are great to practice with… what benefits do you actually get by doing so? It’s pretty simple, actually. You get unlimited shots at the goal.
If you’re out at a bar or networking event, you only have one shot at making the right impression. Guess what happens if you fall flat on your face, which is unavoidable at times? That was your one shot at the goal and you need to find someone else to practice with.
With service people, you can test different stories, reactions, phrases, greetings, facial expressions, and so on. Unless you offend them in a deeply personal way, they’ll still be courteous to you, but you can gauge how positive their reactions are to all of your behaviors to know what works best. You can continuously improve and hone your skills. You can see your progress with future interactions. As you see their reactions change, you can fine-tune what you’re doing and keep stepping up your game.
Essentially, you’re in a safe environment to practice and polish your social skills without fear of any judgment or consequences. More than that, you can learn to read people, process their signals, and calibrate your interactions to different types of people.
This is a process that takes trial and error, but you can speed it up exponentially by engaging with service people.
