Studies have shown that more people can name the characters on the television show The Brady Bunch than the Ten Commandments. Surprisingly and random? Yes.
But it shows in a very salient way that people respond to stories and narratives far better than lists and sets of rules.
Throughout your life, you’ve met many different interesting people… but you don’t remember all of them. Not even close. You remember those who could entrance you with a story, or had colorful stories about their own lives.
If you want to increase your charisma and influence, undoubtedly large factors of social fluency, mastering the art of telling great stories is paramount.
Amazing stories boost your social fluency because stories radiate comfort. When you’re weaving your story, you feel comfortable because you’re taking the lead and sharing your experiences with them – there is no fear of judgment because the story itself doesn’t reflect on you and you don’t feel threatened.
Most importantly, you’re drawing your listeners into an emotional world where you control exactly what emotions are felt, and how strong they are. And they have no choice but to go along with it. It’s also comforting for them because they don’t have to put in any work while you’re telling a story, so it’s a situation that complete control is essentially handed to you. They’re putting their faith in you at that moment to dictate the interaction.
That’s the very definition of influence.
You don’t have influence over someone who’s emotions you can’t dictate. You don’t have influence over someone who isn’t comfortable around you. You don’t have influence over someone who feels threatened by you. You don’t have influence outside of situations where control is readily given.
When you tell a story, all of these evaporate, and you draw people into your zone of influence.
So how do we tell better stories?
First, we should focus on which emotions we want to convey and why people should care about them. As educated, intellectual, academic, and logical as people might seem, deep down we are all emotional animals.
We all bleed. We all feel fear. We all want love. We all want to feel appreciated. We all want to be accepted.
We have all these common wants and needs. These are the raw ingredients that a master storyteller works with. By establishing familiarity and rapport with these common baseline needs and emotions, we are able to dissolve the wall between us and other people.
A great storyteller communicates that “I am you” and “You are me,” that there is really nothing separating us. And once you get that person to that emotional level, you can go in any direction you wish with them.
This is why dictators are such effective speakers. This is why certain speakers are able to capture the popular imagination. They are great storytellers, and the foundation of any great story is an emotional bedrock of commonality.
Is there any sort of template to better stories? Are there patterns to follow to become a better storyteller?
Actually, there are. Whether you’re looking at the Bible, or you’re looking at King Arthur’s Round Table, or Ancient Greek Mythology, they all fit certain patterns.
In fact, even Shakespeare’s plays fit certain narrative patterns. By paying attention to these patterns, you can then copy them in how you tell your story.
